Well, it's just about that time, Dear Reader, where we are done with the Old and welcome in the New.
Good riddance to old rubbish, I say!
However, it's not like I'm feeling any excitement or anticipation of good things to come. Nope, colour me cynical and world-weary if you must, but I sense it's just going to be more of the same for the coming year.
Tuesday, December 31, 2013
Another year (almost) done
Posted by Anonymous Investigator at
02:18
0
comments
Labels:
service announcement
Thursday, December 26, 2013
Tuesday, December 17, 2013
The Subject of Complaint
Once again, Dear Reader, I have had a subject of an insurance investigation make certain allegations in regards to my conduct and what I had supposedly stated to him during the course of the investigation.
This isn't the first time he's done so. Not only in regards to myself, but also others he had dealt with in regards to the claims process.
He's even claimed that he has recorded our conversations (without my knowledge or consent, naturally) but has yet to furnish any actual evidence of this.
The guy is a Class-A douchenozzle, for reasons other than his spurious complaints.
This isn't the first time he's done so. Not only in regards to myself, but also others he had dealt with in regards to the claims process.
He's even claimed that he has recorded our conversations (without my knowledge or consent, naturally) but has yet to furnish any actual evidence of this.
The guy is a Class-A douchenozzle, for reasons other than his spurious complaints.
Posted by Anonymous Investigator at
23:25
0
comments
Labels:
tinfoil helmets
Thursday, November 28, 2013
A Simple Plan
Well, today's little surveillance case did not go quite according to plan.
The job was rather straightforward enough; I was subbing for another investigator who needed someone on the ground. His client was claiming ongoing harassment from her neighbour - who allegedly has been throwing stones continually at her roof on a daily basis and has, almost literally by the sounds of it, driven her mad.
The job was rather straightforward enough; I was subbing for another investigator who needed someone on the ground. His client was claiming ongoing harassment from her neighbour - who allegedly has been throwing stones continually at her roof on a daily basis and has, almost literally by the sounds of it, driven her mad.
Posted by Anonymous Investigator at
03:46
0
comments
Labels:
A cautionary tale,
surveillance
Friday, November 08, 2013
Ein Kleine Überwachungsmusik
Seriously fitting music for a long rainy night's surveillance in Bad City. Or any city.
Posted by Anonymous Investigator at
14:56
0
comments
Labels:
surveillance
Blondes in Trouble: The Accident That Wasn't There
"Do you mind if I smoke"
"It won't affect the test. Alright, I'm going to ask you a series of questions. Just relax and answer them as simply as you can."
Hello there, Dear Reader. Thought I might quickly mention a recent (actually, current) investigation in regards to a somewhat suspect insurance claim concerning an alleged vehicle accident.
Well, I say 'alleged' but there is no doubt that an accident occurred.
The question is whether the accident occured as the claimant has stated.
"It won't affect the test. Alright, I'm going to ask you a series of questions. Just relax and answer them as simply as you can."
Hello there, Dear Reader. Thought I might quickly mention a recent (actually, current) investigation in regards to a somewhat suspect insurance claim concerning an alleged vehicle accident.
Well, I say 'alleged' but there is no doubt that an accident occurred.
The question is whether the accident occured as the claimant has stated.
Posted by Anonymous Investigator at
12:34
0
comments
Labels:
Blondes in Trouble
Wednesday, October 30, 2013
Do clothes really maketh the Man?
Well, it seems that not everyone is enamoured of my sartorial splendour, such as it is.
In fact, one individual went so far as to recently complain to the insurance company I was working on behalf of in regards to my dress sense.
Personally, I just don't get it.
How does what I choose to wear affect my ability to do my job?
In fact, one individual went so far as to recently complain to the insurance company I was working on behalf of in regards to my dress sense.
Personally, I just don't get it.
How does what I choose to wear affect my ability to do my job?
Posted by Anonymous Investigator at
04:43
0
comments
Labels:
bullshit files,
Sartorial Sleuth
Monday, October 21, 2013
Roger Ebert's Guide to the Film Noir Genre
Credit where credit is due, this was just brought to my attention and I thought worthy of a mention.
So back in 1995, renowned film critic Roger Ebert mused over the Film Noir genre and wrote a short guide.
Personally, I kind of like point 6 (emphasis added), but then again I probably would.
For women: low necklines, floppy hats, mascara, lipstick, dressing rooms, boudoirs, calling the doorman by his first name, high heels, red dresses, elbowlength gloves, mixing drinks, having gangsters as boyfriends, having soft spots for alcoholic private eyes, wanting a lot of someone else's women, sprawling dead on the floor with every limb meticulously arranged and every hair in place.
Yep.
Sounds about right.
So back in 1995, renowned film critic Roger Ebert mused over the Film Noir genre and wrote a short guide.
Personally, I kind of like point 6 (emphasis added), but then again I probably would.
For women: low necklines, floppy hats, mascara, lipstick, dressing rooms, boudoirs, calling the doorman by his first name, high heels, red dresses, elbowlength gloves, mixing drinks, having gangsters as boyfriends, having soft spots for alcoholic private eyes, wanting a lot of someone else's women, sprawling dead on the floor with every limb meticulously arranged and every hair in place.
Yep.
Sounds about right.
Posted by Anonymous Investigator at
13:54
0
comments
Labels:
PIs in fiction
Sunday, October 20, 2013
Thoughts on an Exposé
Recently there has been a prominent blogger* disclosing some 'revelations' regarding several political figures' dirty laundry. This blogger, clearly to the far right of the political spectrum, seems to be less interested in even-handedness, and more concerned with deliberately targeting the wrongdoings of those on the political left.
I guess everyone needs a hobby, even one that serves an agenda.
Posted by Anonymous Investigator at
04:02
0
comments
Labels:
A cautionary tale
Raymond Chandler's guide to blondes
This quote from Chandler's The Long Goodbye was sent to me a few days ago. I swear I know a couple of these women but, sadly, not as many as I would like.
“There are blonde and blondes and it is almost a joke word nowadays. All blondes have their points, except perhaps the metallic ones who are as blonde as a Zulu under the bleach and as to disposition as soft as a sidewalk. There is the small cute blonde who cheeps and twitters, and the big statuesque blonde who straight-arms you with an ice-blue glare. There is the blonde who gives you the up-from-under look and smells lovely and shimmers and hangs on your arm and is always very, very tired when you take her home. She makes that helpless gesture and has that goddamned headache and you would like to slug her except that you found about the headache before you invested too much time and money and hope in her. Because the headache will always be there, a weapon that never wears out and is as deadly as the bravo’s rapier or Lucrezia’s poison vial.
There is the soft and willing alcoholic blonde who doesn’t care what she wears as long as it is mink or where she goes as long as it is the Starlight Roof and there is plenty of dry champagne. There is the small perky blonde who is a little pale and wants to pay her own way and is full of sunshine and common sense and knows judo from the ground up and can toss a truck driver over her shoulder without missing more than one sentence out of the editorial in the Saturday Review. There is the pale, pale blonde with anemia of some non-fatal but incurable type. She very languid and very shadowy and she speaks softly out of nowhere and you can’t lay a finger on her because in the first place you don’t want to and in the second place she is reading the Wasteland or Dante in the original, or Kafka or Kierkegaard or studying Provencal. She adores music and when the New York Philharmonic is playing Hindesmith she can tell you which one of the six bass viols came in a quarter of a beat too late. I hear Toscanini can also. That makes two of them.
And lastly there is the gorgeous show piece who will outlast three kingpin racketeers and then marry a couple of millionaires at a million a head and end up with a pale rose villa at Cap d’Antibes, and Alfa Romeo town car complete with pilot and co-pilot, and a stable of shopworn aristocrats, all of whom she will treat with the affectionate absentmindedness of an elderly duke saying good night to his butler.”
Posted by Anonymous Investigator at
01:15
0
comments
Labels:
femme fatale,
PIs in fiction
Thursday, October 17, 2013
A Work in Progress
Like pretty much every other Private Investigator in existence, I entertain the notion of writing a novel.
Yep, sorry.
Actually, the desire to practice writing actually led me to start this blog, so in some ways you have only yourselves to blame.
Be that as it may, I actually have written a number of 'scenes' or vignettes, if you prefer, with the idea of (eventually) stringing them together in some coherent manner that tells a meaningful story.
I even have most of the meta-plot figured out, which surely has to count for something? Shame I haven't done much actual writing in a while.
But that is about to change. Time to get back on the horse and finish what I have started.
Anyway, in lieu of something more investigatory-related, here is one of said vignettes for your appraisal and critique.
PS: it's about a down-and-out PI.
Fiction, I tell you.
Yep, sorry.
Actually, the desire to practice writing actually led me to start this blog, so in some ways you have only yourselves to blame.
Be that as it may, I actually have written a number of 'scenes' or vignettes, if you prefer, with the idea of (eventually) stringing them together in some coherent manner that tells a meaningful story.
I even have most of the meta-plot figured out, which surely has to count for something? Shame I haven't done much actual writing in a while.
But that is about to change. Time to get back on the horse and finish what I have started.
Anyway, in lieu of something more investigatory-related, here is one of said vignettes for your appraisal and critique.
PS: it's about a down-and-out PI.
Fiction, I tell you.
Posted by Anonymous Investigator at
13:21
3
comments
Labels:
Work in Progress
Tuesday, October 15, 2013
Bullshit Files: 'Psychic' didn't see guilty verdict coming
It always gladdens my heart to see the truly deserving get what's coming to them and, in this case, Sylvia Mitchell (her real name) has been found guilty of defrauding two women out of $138,000.
You can read the full article here.
Oh, Sylvia, did you not see this dark cloud looming over your own future?
Guess not.
You can read the full article here.
Oh, Sylvia, did you not see this dark cloud looming over your own future?
Guess not.
Posted by Anonymous Investigator at
04:06
0
comments
Labels:
bullshit files
Tuesday, October 01, 2013
Nothing to see here
Posted by Anonymous Investigator at
13:17
0
comments
Labels:
nothing to see here
Girls, Whiskey, and Cigars
Three things I'm pitifully short of.
Truth be told, I'm not really all that fond of whiskey anyway so no loss there.
However, these are supposedly the staple of the lone gumshoe - according to decades of propaganda - and I'm left wondering where it all went wrong?
Truth be told, I'm not really all that fond of whiskey anyway so no loss there.
However, these are supposedly the staple of the lone gumshoe - according to decades of propaganda - and I'm left wondering where it all went wrong?
Posted by Anonymous Investigator at
03:59
15
comments
Labels:
Happiness is...?
You had me at "betray your country", Anna
Seems former Russian spy, Anna Chapman, had recently made the news after her July 03 tweet "Snowden, will you marry me?!" to which there has been no response.
Chapman refused to be drawn into an explanation with NBC reporter Michael Engel and promptly terminated the interview.
You're a lucky man, Engel, she might just have terminated you instead.
However, if the position is still open, I would just like to state that I would willingly betray any national secrets I may, or may not, possess.
Surely that has to count for something?
Just sayin'.
Chapman refused to be drawn into an explanation with NBC reporter Michael Engel and promptly terminated the interview.
You're a lucky man, Engel, she might just have terminated you instead.
However, if the position is still open, I would just like to state that I would willingly betray any national secrets I may, or may not, possess.
Surely that has to count for something?
Just sayin'.
Posted by Anonymous Investigator at
02:40
0
comments
Labels:
nothing to see here
Saturday, September 28, 2013
PIs in Fiction: Robert Bogerud
It's not easy to be 28 year old detective Robert Bogerud. He is the only
detective in the country with Downs syndrome. He has own office, a
trench-coat and a Bogart-hat. He is ready - all he needs is his first
case.
I kid you not.
I kid you not.
Posted by Anonymous Investigator at
13:59
0
comments
Labels:
PIs in fiction
Wednesday, September 25, 2013
More things that really get my goat...
You know, Dear Reader, sometimes we PIs find ourselves in fairly unusual circumstances.
Something we probably didn't have in mind for later when we first got up that morning.
I had a day like that yesterday.
Really.
Something we probably didn't have in mind for later when we first got up that morning.
I had a day like that yesterday.
Really.
Posted by Anonymous Investigator at
06:20
2
comments
Wednesday, September 18, 2013
Review: Monsieur Notebook
Hooray for free stuff, Dear Reader! Today I received my eagerly anticipated Monsieur Notebook for review.
It is the A6 (11 x 14.5cm) plain notebook in black. 192 pages.
In one word: fairlyfuckingawesome!
However, let's take a closer look inside...
It is the A6 (11 x 14.5cm) plain notebook in black. 192 pages.
In one word: fairlyfuckingawesome!
However, let's take a closer look inside...
Posted by Anonymous Investigator at
09:25
3
comments
Labels:
notebooks,
shameless product placement
Monday, September 09, 2013
PI Toolbox: Visualising Relationships & Networks
Hello Dear Reader. Today I thought I might share a couple of tools that you might find useful in regards to mapping out relationships and networks in regards to investigations.
While IBM's i2 platform is arguably the king of intelligence analysis software, the pricing is also princely. There are a few contenders to the throne (Palantir, Sentinel Visualizer, Wynyard Investigator to name but a few) some of which are focused on particular niches - such as total investigations case management coupled with an intelligence analysis suite to seek hidden information and linkages.
And naturally, they all come with hefty pricetags.
However, if you just want to map out information manually, and don't specifically need the deeper analysis functionality, there are a couple of free (or almost free) options out there.
The price is certainly right.
While IBM's i2 platform is arguably the king of intelligence analysis software, the pricing is also princely. There are a few contenders to the throne (Palantir, Sentinel Visualizer, Wynyard Investigator to name but a few) some of which are focused on particular niches - such as total investigations case management coupled with an intelligence analysis suite to seek hidden information and linkages.
And naturally, they all come with hefty pricetags.
However, if you just want to map out information manually, and don't specifically need the deeper analysis functionality, there are a couple of free (or almost free) options out there.
The price is certainly right.
Posted by Anonymous Investigator at
06:48
3
comments
Labels:
PI toolbox
Friday, September 06, 2013
Book Review: Intelligence and Private Investigation
Well, Dear Reader, I try to stay true to my word - except when I'm deliberately lying of course (not that I'd ever lie to you) - so here is that promised review of "Intelligence and Private Investigation - Developing Sophisticated Methods for Conducting Inquiries", edited by Hank Prunkun, PhD.
Sadly, I came away slightly disappointed.
Why?
Sadly, I came away slightly disappointed.
Why?
Posted by Anonymous Investigator at
03:50
0
comments
Labels:
PI toolbox,
shameless product placement
Monday, August 26, 2013
More Gang Stalking Madness!
So there I was, Dear Reader, on a routine insurance case where I had to interview an individual involved in a single-vehicle motor accident along a straight stretch of road late one night.
But this isn't about that.
My destination was only about an hour's drive from Bad City, not that far out. It was a miserable grey day with intermittent showers and a cold breeze. One of those days when you don't really want to get out of your vehicle unless you really had to.
I took a back-roads route, off the well-travelled highway. It was a better drive, in my opinion, and one of my favourites.
Then I noticed something strange. A number of vehicles I had passed going the other way, and there weren't all that many of them to begin with, had one headlight out.
And as we know, vehicles with only one working light are symbolic of organised gangstalking.
Is that what this was? Am I now a victim of the very thing I mocked earlier?
But this isn't about that.
My destination was only about an hour's drive from Bad City, not that far out. It was a miserable grey day with intermittent showers and a cold breeze. One of those days when you don't really want to get out of your vehicle unless you really had to.
I took a back-roads route, off the well-travelled highway. It was a better drive, in my opinion, and one of my favourites.
Then I noticed something strange. A number of vehicles I had passed going the other way, and there weren't all that many of them to begin with, had one headlight out.
And as we know, vehicles with only one working light are symbolic of organised gangstalking.
Is that what this was? Am I now a victim of the very thing I mocked earlier?
Posted by Anonymous Investigator at
12:43
2
comments
Labels:
bullshit files,
gang stalking
This Just In: Intelligence and Private Investigation
This morning's other nice surprise was receiving my recently ordered copy of "Intelligence and Private Investigation: Developing Sophisticated Methods for Conducting Enquiries" edited by Hank Prunkun, PhD.
Quite a title.
I purchased this after a heads-up from Hal Humphries over at Pursuit Magazine, who promised a review...
Still waiting, Hal.
Like I can talk.
Anyway, I'll get around to doing a review of my own as soon as I've had a chance to thoroughly read it. In the meantime, you can sneak a view of what's inside over at Amazon.
Having said that, I think I still owe you another review.
Quite a title.
I purchased this after a heads-up from Hal Humphries over at Pursuit Magazine, who promised a review...
Still waiting, Hal.
Like I can talk.
Anyway, I'll get around to doing a review of my own as soon as I've had a chance to thoroughly read it. In the meantime, you can sneak a view of what's inside over at Amazon.
Having said that, I think I still owe you another review.
Posted by Anonymous Investigator at
06:46
0
comments
Labels:
PI toolbox
Shameless Product Placement: Monsieur Notebooks
As you should know by now, Dear Reader, I have a thing for notebooks. A compulsion that drives me - an urge that cannot be satiated.
Must. Have. More. Notebooks.
Moleskine, Leuchtturm, or some unnamed knock-off - I've gone through them all. And none of them have quite filled all my, quite specific, notebookery needs.
Well, enter a new contender.
I received an email this morning from Tom (probably his real name) informing me of the upcoming launch of Monsieur Notebooks.
They've even offered me a sample for review. That's a first!
Anyway, judging from the content of their website, I'm already excited by the prospect given that notebooks can be customised from a range of options or even created from scratch with their bespoke service.
Naturally, I've replied to Tom kindly accepting his offer and will gladly post a thorough review once I get my hot and sweaty hands on said product.
Lastly, here is a video on their coming launch.
Posted by Anonymous Investigator at
01:10
0
comments
Labels:
notebooks,
shameless product placement
Wednesday, August 21, 2013
Anatomy of a (Mostly Successful) Follow
I had a big day recently, Dear Reader, on a surveillance case following a subject from the only location we knew where she would be at within a particular timeframe.
The mission was to obtain a visual ID on her and commence with the follow to determine where she was staying and whether or not she was meeting anyone else.
The Client prepared a detailed brief along with supplying photographs of the Subject and possible Third Party.
And this was my very first client-set value-based billing case.
So how did it go?
The mission was to obtain a visual ID on her and commence with the follow to determine where she was staying and whether or not she was meeting anyone else.
The Client prepared a detailed brief along with supplying photographs of the Subject and possible Third Party.
And this was my very first client-set value-based billing case.
So how did it go?
Posted by Anonymous Investigator at
06:54
0
comments
Labels:
cheating spouse,
surveillance
Tuesday, August 20, 2013
No names, no pack-drill
You know how it goes.
I would have updated the blog sooner but I've been unavoidably detained by a number of real-world issues that have kept me otherwise occupied. It has been a hectic few weeks and I'm glad that it is now (mostly) behind me.
No doubt a few of you will surmise I have been away on some NWO-sanctioned black bag op against your fellow citizens and to that I can only tender the following video for your edutainment.
For the rest of you, those who aren't barking mad, expect a few more posts of an investigative nature over the next few days.
As you were.
I would have updated the blog sooner but I've been unavoidably detained by a number of real-world issues that have kept me otherwise occupied. It has been a hectic few weeks and I'm glad that it is now (mostly) behind me.
No doubt a few of you will surmise I have been away on some NWO-sanctioned black bag op against your fellow citizens and to that I can only tender the following video for your edutainment.
For the rest of you, those who aren't barking mad, expect a few more posts of an investigative nature over the next few days.
As you were.
Posted by Anonymous Investigator at
08:01
0
comments
Labels:
gang stalking,
No free lunch
Monday, July 22, 2013
(Not quite) the Rockford Files redux
It is true, Dear Reader, that there has been a change in my personal circumstances where in a short week from now I shall be homeless.
Well, half-homeless.
I have secured a caravan (or trailer as the Americans put it) as I did a couple of years back, which will do temporarily until I find something a little more suitable, and permanent.
Well, half-homeless.
I have secured a caravan (or trailer as the Americans put it) as I did a couple of years back, which will do temporarily until I find something a little more suitable, and permanent.
Posted by Anonymous Investigator at
01:31
0
comments
Labels:
Rockford Files Life
Thursday, July 11, 2013
In other news...
Well, Dear Reader, there's no danger of me going out there and getting a so-called 'real job' just yet.
Once again, my tender hopes to be a respectable and contributing member of society were cruelly crushed. To add insult to injury, I didn't even rate an interview for a position I am most suitably qualified and experienced for.
I'd like to say I'm not one to hold a grudge... but yes, that's exactly the kind of guy I am.
Some people say you shouldn't take these things personally but they don't get much more personal that this.
Wankers!
Once again, my tender hopes to be a respectable and contributing member of society were cruelly crushed. To add insult to injury, I didn't even rate an interview for a position I am most suitably qualified and experienced for.
I'd like to say I'm not one to hold a grudge... but yes, that's exactly the kind of guy I am.
Some people say you shouldn't take these things personally but they don't get much more personal that this.
Wankers!
Posted by Anonymous Investigator at
07:42
1 comments
Labels:
I'm not one to hold a grudge
Thank you
One Dear Reader, not mentioning any names here, kindly donated to the buy-a-struggling-PI-a-coffee fund.
Mmmmmm... coffeee.
Anyone else feeling generous can also do the same buy hitting the button on the upper right.
It qualifies for your one good deed for the day requirement.
Mmmmmm... coffeee.
Anyone else feeling generous can also do the same buy hitting the button on the upper right.
It qualifies for your one good deed for the day requirement.
Posted by Anonymous Investigator at
07:34
0
comments
Labels:
service announcement
Saturday, June 29, 2013
How much would you pay...?
I've been thinking - which is never a good sign because it usually means things are getting desperate - that there has to be a different (and maybe even better) way of doing things.
Recently, Brian Willingham wrote a piece over in Pursuit Magazine titled 'A Slave to the Billable Hour' and it has rekindled an idea I had a while ago.
Value-based billing.
Recently, Brian Willingham wrote a piece over in Pursuit Magazine titled 'A Slave to the Billable Hour' and it has rekindled an idea I had a while ago.
Value-based billing.
Posted by Anonymous Investigator at
04:07
2
comments
Labels:
No free lunch
Wednesday, June 26, 2013
Nice work if you can get it
Well, Dear Reader, the winds of change may be a-blowin' if things go my way.
Which they won't.
But if for some reason, and against all odds, they do, I may be a down-and-out Private Investigator no longer and actually find myself in gainful employment.
Yep, working for the man.
Doing what, you might ask?
Which they won't.
But if for some reason, and against all odds, they do, I may be a down-and-out Private Investigator no longer and actually find myself in gainful employment.
Yep, working for the man.
Doing what, you might ask?
Posted by Anonymous Investigator at
12:41
0
comments
Labels:
If you're not cop...,
service announcement
Saturday, June 22, 2013
PIs in fiction: Hank Dolworth and Britt Pollack
It was a terrible crime.
A crime that the 2010 series "Terriers" was canned after just one season.
Hank Dolworth and Britt Pollack (played by Donal Logue and Michael Raymond-James, respectively) are unlikely duo of unlicenced PIs in Southern California, fighting the good fight.
Mostly within the law.
A crime that the 2010 series "Terriers" was canned after just one season.
Hank Dolworth and Britt Pollack (played by Donal Logue and Michael Raymond-James, respectively) are unlikely duo of unlicenced PIs in Southern California, fighting the good fight.
Mostly within the law.
Posted by Anonymous Investigator at
13:31
0
comments
Labels:
PIs in fiction
Saturday, June 15, 2013
Don't Ask
Well, Dear Reader, just when I thought things couldn't get much worse, they took a turn for the predictable.
Have I mentioned how much I hate tyre-kickers and timewasters?
I think I might have. Once or twice.
Enter Hazel, not her real name. Actually I have no idea what her name is at the moment, it has changed twice already in our communications.
Hazel is trying to pump me for advice and information under the guise of being a 'potential client'. Except that I know there will never be any work and, more importantly, dollars coming my way from the elusive and mysterious Hazel.
Have I mentioned how much I hate tyre-kickers and timewasters?
I think I might have. Once or twice.
Enter Hazel, not her real name. Actually I have no idea what her name is at the moment, it has changed twice already in our communications.
Hazel is trying to pump me for advice and information under the guise of being a 'potential client'. Except that I know there will never be any work and, more importantly, dollars coming my way from the elusive and mysterious Hazel.
Posted by Anonymous Investigator at
09:27
7
comments
Labels:
Ethics,
Legality,
No free lunch,
timewaster
Friday, June 07, 2013
Is 'Gang Stalking' a real phenomenon?
Posted by Anonymous Investigator at
08:22
20
comments
Labels:
gang stalking,
tinfoil helmets
Now THAT's a surveillance van..
...as Crocodile Dundee might say, if he were a PI.
Apologies for the laxity in updates but I've been a busy man; busy feeling sorry for myself - which is almost a full-time occupation in itself although, to be fair, not all that rewarding.
Well, you only have yourselves to blame. Apart from the occasional "Winning Lottery" notification, or a very nice email from the Solicitor of some former dead politician in Niger offering me a lot of money, my inbox has been rather quiet of late. You could make an effort to flick me a line, even if just to tell me how crap I am.
It's a two-way thing, you know. Communication.
About that surveillance van in the photograph, though. That harks back to when we PIs were cool and could get a table in any restaurant in town.
Unlike now, apparently.
Anyway, it belonged to the (in)famous Hollywood gumshoe, Fred Otash, whose exploits you can read about further here.
Apologies for the laxity in updates but I've been a busy man; busy feeling sorry for myself - which is almost a full-time occupation in itself although, to be fair, not all that rewarding.
Well, you only have yourselves to blame. Apart from the occasional "Winning Lottery" notification, or a very nice email from the Solicitor of some former dead politician in Niger offering me a lot of money, my inbox has been rather quiet of late. You could make an effort to flick me a line, even if just to tell me how crap I am.
It's a two-way thing, you know. Communication.
About that surveillance van in the photograph, though. That harks back to when we PIs were cool and could get a table in any restaurant in town.
Unlike now, apparently.
Anyway, it belonged to the (in)famous Hollywood gumshoe, Fred Otash, whose exploits you can read about further here.
Posted by Anonymous Investigator at
06:41
0
comments
Labels:
in the news
Saturday, May 11, 2013
Psychic dead wrong. Again.
So it's all the news at the moment that 'Spiritual Teacher and Psychic' Sylvia Browne wrongly predicted that Amanda Berry was dead, back in 2004, on a US TV show.
Browne's comment in regards to the recent events?
Browne's comment in regards to the recent events?
"Only God is right all the time."
Good point, Sylvia. Well, if you can't be right ALL the time, just how many times can you be?
Apparently never.
Posted by Anonymous Investigator at
16:17
0
comments
Labels:
bullshit files,
psychic investigators
Monday, May 06, 2013
Monday WTF Files: The man who sold the Emperor new clothes
This might seem a little out of place here, not being about investigations per se, but I think it is of general interest to those involved in the security industry.
James McCormick has been jailed for 10 years for selling his modern-day version of snake oil in the form of the contains-no-actual-working-parts ADE651 Bomb Detector (and previous models) to such tranquil and trouble-free locales as Iraq, Lebanon, Pakistan,Thailand and others.
Not after raking in some £55million though.
James McCormick has been jailed for 10 years for selling his modern-day version of snake oil in the form of the contains-no-actual-working-parts ADE651 Bomb Detector (and previous models) to such tranquil and trouble-free locales as Iraq, Lebanon, Pakistan,Thailand and others.
Not after raking in some £55million though.
Posted by Anonymous Investigator at
06:04
3
comments
Labels:
A cautionary tale,
Monday WTF Files
(No) Money No Problem
I should have known better.
When a mysterious and exotic woman comes to you, whispering of riches and intrigue, you know it's never going to be that easy or go as expected.
Never.
When a mysterious and exotic woman comes to you, whispering of riches and intrigue, you know it's never going to be that easy or go as expected.
Never.
Posted by Anonymous Investigator at
04:36
0
comments
Labels:
bullshit files,
timewaster
Friday, April 05, 2013
An improbable tale from Mr Moon
You may have heard of the apocryphal "black dog" story, Dear Reader, where some schmuck provides the unlikley explanation that the vehicle accident he was involved in was the result of having to swerve to avoid some stray animal on the road (in this case that pesky black dog).
Well, I never really believed that people actually would try this exceptionally lame-sounding excuse out.
Until now.
Well, I never really believed that people actually would try this exceptionally lame-sounding excuse out.
Until now.
Posted by Anonymous Investigator at
03:52
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pants on fire
Thursday, April 04, 2013
In the the new, out with the old...
So, Dear Reader, you might recall I was feeling a little hurt because I had been described as 'rough-looking'... Well, turns out he might have been right!
You see, one of my favourite pieces of kit is my 5.11 Tactical Covert Vest which allows me to cram all kinds oftoys tools into its myriad pockets.
The problem is that this has been my favourite piece of kit for almost 8 years and it was starting to look decidedly shabby. Worse, holes were appearing and things had a tendency to just fall out.
Um, yeah, I really was that rough-looking guy.
You see, one of my favourite pieces of kit is my 5.11 Tactical Covert Vest which allows me to cram all kinds of
The problem is that this has been my favourite piece of kit for almost 8 years and it was starting to look decidedly shabby. Worse, holes were appearing and things had a tendency to just fall out.
Um, yeah, I really was that rough-looking guy.
Posted by Anonymous Investigator at
05:16
0
comments
Monday, March 25, 2013
Threats, paranoia, and sartorial style
This morning I received a call from Tony*, a client for whom I have done a few jobs previously. You can read about the first time here, which should give you some kind of indication as to the problems Tony has been having.
Tony has a small contracting company, TWA*. Given the nature of the industry, finding suitable employees has been a bit of a challenge for Tony, and some of his hiring decisions made have come back to haunt him - particularly when his erstwhile employees have been stealing from the company or the clients.
Just the day before I had backed Tony up in a carpark meeting with another recently-fired employee. Tony said he wanted me there to 'document the proceedings' but I think he really wanted me there if the proverbial shit hit that fan since there had been threats.
It didn't. At least not right then.
So then I received that phone call from Tony, clearly nervous...
Tony has a small contracting company, TWA*. Given the nature of the industry, finding suitable employees has been a bit of a challenge for Tony, and some of his hiring decisions made have come back to haunt him - particularly when his erstwhile employees have been stealing from the company or the clients.
Just the day before I had backed Tony up in a carpark meeting with another recently-fired employee. Tony said he wanted me there to 'document the proceedings' but I think he really wanted me there if the proverbial shit hit that fan since there had been threats.
It didn't. At least not right then.
So then I received that phone call from Tony, clearly nervous...
Posted by Anonymous Investigator at
04:47
1 comments
Labels:
A cautionary tale,
nothing to see here
Monday, March 11, 2013
Surprise! Or maybe not...
Seems like I'm always the last to know but about a year ago Forbes published an article on the 10 most surprisingly low-paying jobs.
Compiled from data sourced from the US Bureau of Labour Statistics, Forbes determined that to make the list the average pay of employees had to be under US$50,000 per annum yet commonly perceived as being more lucrative than in actuality.
Private investigators made the list.
Of course the criteria for selection were entirely subjective and based on what the writers thought the various occupations were worth. Ironically, and yet somewhat satisfyingly, reporters also made the list.
Perhaps someone at Forbes was angling for a pay rise?
Compiled from data sourced from the US Bureau of Labour Statistics, Forbes determined that to make the list the average pay of employees had to be under US$50,000 per annum yet commonly perceived as being more lucrative than in actuality.
Private investigators made the list.
Of course the criteria for selection were entirely subjective and based on what the writers thought the various occupations were worth. Ironically, and yet somewhat satisfyingly, reporters also made the list.
Perhaps someone at Forbes was angling for a pay rise?
Posted by Anonymous Investigator at
15:07
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comments
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No free lunch
Tuesday, March 05, 2013
The Informant
I heard her before I saw her.
Her heels on the cobblestones sharp in the otherwise muted sounds of another fog-shrouded night at the docklands.
Click clack, click clack.
I checked my watch one last time; ten to midnight. Right on schedule. A solitary dark figure loomed out of the mist ahead of me and stopped, one hand hidden from view in her coat pocket.
"Are you the dick?" she asked.
That's never how it happens.
Her heels on the cobblestones sharp in the otherwise muted sounds of another fog-shrouded night at the docklands.
Click clack, click clack.
I checked my watch one last time; ten to midnight. Right on schedule. A solitary dark figure loomed out of the mist ahead of me and stopped, one hand hidden from view in her coat pocket.
"Are you the dick?" she asked.
That's never how it happens.
Posted by Anonymous Investigator at
04:29
0
comments
Labels:
PI toolbox
Wednesday, February 27, 2013
Coming right up after this message from our Sponsors*...
Not really a shameless product placement (yet) - just a heads-up that I recently ordered a copy of Becnel & Krischke's "Principles of Investigative Documentation" and it's shipped.
Looking forward to getting this and will post a review as soon as I can.
But while you are waiting, check out the review from Diligentia. You might note that I posted a comment back in early 2012 but have only purchased the book now. What gives?
Actually, I totally forgot the name of the book and where I'd read the review.
I'm good, not fucking perfect!
* Still looking for those elusive sponsor-types who might want to shower me with gadgets and books for review, in-the-field testing, or otherwise because it's my birthday and/or I'm just awesome. Make that Awesome! With a capital A. And it's not my birthday, but it could be. So if you would like to be equally as Awesome, flick me an email.
Looking forward to getting this and will post a review as soon as I can.
But while you are waiting, check out the review from Diligentia. You might note that I posted a comment back in early 2012 but have only purchased the book now. What gives?
Actually, I totally forgot the name of the book and where I'd read the review.
I'm good, not fucking perfect!
* Still looking for those elusive sponsor-types who might want to shower me with gadgets and books for review, in-the-field testing, or otherwise because it's my birthday and/or I'm just awesome. Make that Awesome! With a capital A. And it's not my birthday, but it could be. So if you would like to be equally as Awesome, flick me an email.
Posted by Anonymous Investigator at
06:05
0
comments
Labels:
shameless product placement
Monday, February 25, 2013
Black as midnight on a moonless night
Pretty black then.
I am referring, of course, to that investigator's staple - coffee. And a reminder that it is "International Buy a PI a Coffee Day 2013" on Saturday 16 March.
As Agent Dale Cooper once said: "I still can't get the taste of fish-filtered coffee out of my mouth."
Word.
Posted by Anonymous Investigator at
06:35
0
comments
Labels:
#ibapiacd
Quick Reviews: 'Uncovering Reasonable Doubt" & "Forensic Testimonial Evidence Recovery"
Hello Dear Reader. Some time ago I purchased two texts by Brandon A. Perron in regards to Criminal Defence Investigations: "Uncovering Reasonable Doubt: the Component Method" and "Forensic Testimonial Evidence Recovery: the FTER Method".
It kind of makes sense to review them together as the books complement each other in a number of ways.
So what did I think?
It kind of makes sense to review them together as the books complement each other in a number of ways.
So what did I think?
Posted by Anonymous Investigator at
04:49
0
comments
Labels:
PI toolbox,
shameless product placement
Wednesday, February 20, 2013
Eating Man Sighted!
Dear Reader, I am pleased to announce that at 1402hrs this afternoon, the elusive Eating Man was captured on film outside his natural habitat.
This momentous, and rare, sighting has given researchers more to puzzle over as the Eating Man was seen to converse with cafe staff nearby, enquiring as to what ingredients were in a particular tasty food product.
The Eating Man had previously thought to have been a mute species, unable to communicate effectively.
This momentous, and rare, sighting has given researchers more to puzzle over as the Eating Man was seen to converse with cafe staff nearby, enquiring as to what ingredients were in a particular tasty food product.
The Eating Man had previously thought to have been a mute species, unable to communicate effectively.
Posted by Anonymous Investigator at
02:49
1 comments
Labels:
EMP
Thursday, February 07, 2013
Reducing Paperwork, Increasing Efficiency
I'm going to share a tip about a tool I am currently using to help reduce the amount of actual paperwork I have to deal with.
While I don't believe it is possible to go entirely paperless (nor is it necessarily entirely desirable), I do like the idea of real-time reporting directly to clients as a means of both efficiency as well as cutting back on the time I spend on admin after I'm done for the day.
While I don't believe it is possible to go entirely paperless (nor is it necessarily entirely desirable), I do like the idea of real-time reporting directly to clients as a means of both efficiency as well as cutting back on the time I spend on admin after I'm done for the day.
Posted by Anonymous Investigator at
12:45
0
comments
Labels:
PI toolbox,
shameless product placement
Considering Insurance Fraud?
I know, Dear Reader, I am breaking my own rule and commenting on a currently active investigation but this is one, I think, you will appreciate.
If you are going to make an insurance claim, particularly in unusual circumstances, it's best that you cover all your bases and check your facts lest something seemingly insignificant trip you up.
Take Mrs Summers (not her real name), for example, who awoke one fine morning to discover her beloved vehicle had been apparently stolen and damaged in some gratuitous joy-riding, then courteously returned by the thieves.
Yep, somewhat unlikely, I thought to myself.
If you are going to make an insurance claim, particularly in unusual circumstances, it's best that you cover all your bases and check your facts lest something seemingly insignificant trip you up.
Take Mrs Summers (not her real name), for example, who awoke one fine morning to discover her beloved vehicle had been apparently stolen and damaged in some gratuitous joy-riding, then courteously returned by the thieves.
Yep, somewhat unlikely, I thought to myself.
Posted by Anonymous Investigator at
03:20
0
comments
Labels:
A cautionary tale,
pants on fire
Tuesday, February 05, 2013
Quick Review: Canon IXUS 510 HS
Hello Dear Reader. Today I thought I'd quickly rate a recent purchase: the Canon IXUS 510 HS.
I really needed to get a simple point-and-shoot camera as using the one on my phone wasn't cutting the mustard, particularly when taking close-up snaps of IDs or even routine pics in insurance claims investigations.
I wanted somethings small, easy to use, and relatively inexpensive.
A couple of weeks on, what do I think?
I really needed to get a simple point-and-shoot camera as using the one on my phone wasn't cutting the mustard, particularly when taking close-up snaps of IDs or even routine pics in insurance claims investigations.
I wanted somethings small, easy to use, and relatively inexpensive.
A couple of weeks on, what do I think?
Posted by Anonymous Investigator at
21:18
0
comments
Labels:
shameless product placement
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
The Eating Man Phenomenon
I would like to share a bit of a tale from my observations of the activities and movements of a person whom I have dubbed "The Eating Man" over the past few years.
He is called thus because virtually all sightings of this mysterious individual involve him in the process of stuffing his face.
Hence the Eating Man...
But that's not the story. No, this is a tale of shifting paradigms and making conclusions based on faulty assumptions. And being surprised.
He is called thus because virtually all sightings of this mysterious individual involve him in the process of stuffing his face.
Hence the Eating Man...
But that's not the story. No, this is a tale of shifting paradigms and making conclusions based on faulty assumptions. And being surprised.
Posted by Anonymous Investigator at
11:25
2
comments
Labels:
EMP
Monday, January 21, 2013
A (not so) wonderful day
Ever have one of those days where everything just goes according to plan, good results at every turn, and nothing unexpected ever happens?
As a general rule, I don't, but for just a moment thought I was having one.
Of course, I was wrong.
As a general rule, I don't, but for just a moment thought I was having one.
Of course, I was wrong.
Posted by Anonymous Investigator at
23:23
0
comments
Labels:
A cautionary tale
Friday, January 18, 2013
PIs on TV: Kalinda Sharma
Okay, so she's an investigator for a law firm rather than in a private capacity but, in this particular case, I'm prepared to make an exception.
And it's not those smouldering eyes, the misandry (even misanthropy), or the short skirts and boots.
Although they help.
And it's not those smouldering eyes, the misandry (even misanthropy), or the short skirts and boots.
Although they help.
Posted by Anonymous Investigator at
06:46
2
comments
Labels:
PIs in fiction
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