Mrs Rountree, Liar

Welcome back to 2016, Dear Reader, whether it be a happy one or not. For the record, and probably somewhat unsurprisingly to you, my New Year's Eve turned out to be a bit of a downer.

Consistency is king, as they say.

But we're not here to hear maudlin tales of my cruelly dashed hopes and dreams, no. Well, not today at any rate.

Instead, I have the curious case of Mrs Rountree (not her real name), an unashamed trickster and would-be criminal mastermind. If only she understood that a clue of what I do lies in my title: investigator. You know, like looking into stuff and shit?

Handy hints if contemplating a career in crime

I sometimes despair of the quality, the calibre, of our up-and-coming young criminals, Dear Reader.

Case in point, just the other day I was doing one of those jobs I really hate doing but occasionally it helps pay the bills: repossessions.

And it wasn't a vehicular repo, which generally go smoothly, but household chattels.

Which generally don't.

And this wasn't an exception.