Don't Ask

Well, Dear Reader, just when I thought things couldn't get much worse, they took a turn for the predictable.

Have I mentioned how much I hate tyre-kickers and timewasters?

I think I might have. Once or twice.

Enter Hazel, not her real name. Actually I have no idea what her name is at the moment, it has changed twice already in our communications.

Hazel is trying to pump me for advice and information under the guise of being a 'potential client'. Except that I know there will never be any work and, more importantly, dollars coming my way from the elusive and mysterious Hazel.

(No) Money No Problem

I should have known better.

When a mysterious and exotic woman comes to you, whispering of riches and intrigue, you know it's never going to be that easy or go as expected.

Never.

Why bother?

I have to admit, Dear Reader, that I have been a little remiss with updates recently. I can't really say that I've been all that busy, hence my silence.

Sadly.

The truth is that circumstances are becoming a little dire - very few new clients and several current recurring clients are closing down their respective operations so no more future work from them.

Not very happy days at all.

And then there are those 'clients' like Velma.

Like sands through the hourglass...

Guess who called today requesting we meet next week to discuss her case?

Gladys!

I wonder if the sound of me repeatedly smacking my head against the brick wall was discernable from her end of the line?

Rather charitably (but that's just the kind of guy I am), I suggested that she call me next week - the day before the proposed meeting - to confirm her attendance.

Poll is now open. Will Gladys keep the appointment or will she cancel at last minute? Again.

Why me?

Tyre kickers.

For those of you unfamiliar with this term, it is in reference to someone who, with no real intention of procuring your goods or services, will waste a great deal of your time and energy sounding you out in order to obtain as much free advice as possible.

You may recall, I actually started this blog over a year ago after receiving this sort of run-around from The Crack Whore - Part 1 (Part 2 and Part 3).

As with Gladys (not her real name), pictured. Well, seeing that I've not actually met her in person, this is a close approximation of her appearance cleverly deduced from our recent phone conversations.

The Prostitute and the Private Eye - The Final Curtain

It came as no great surprise, although still tinged with a sense of mild disappointment, that I never received a call from the will-she-won't-she time wasting client regarding her missing husband. (Here is part one and part two of this sorry tale, in case you missed it)

Despite her repeated insistence that this was a priority, she continued to put off meetings and, more importantly, payment until I finally had enough and told her I was no longer interested in working on her case.

Even then I relented the once, against my better judgment, and gave her one last opportunity to prove she wasn't just another crack-whore when she said she would call me on Friday. I gave her a deadline and, naturally, it has come and gone without a word from her.

Crack whores 1, Jaded private investigators 0.

Or is it the other way around since my instincts were right?