Marketing Ploys: Complimentary Coffee

A long while ago, Dear Reader, (so far so, I can't find the post) I mentioned an idea I had. Actually, to be precise, it was an idea another PI had, but I improved on it and therefore ownership passes to me.

Pretty sure that's how it works.

Anyway, it went something like this.

More Late-Night Ideas...

Whenever I get depressed, which is less often than you probably assume, I try to think up some clever scheme which, if successful, would revolutionise the way I do business.

Or at least that's what I keep telling myself.

Call me an idealist at heart, but keeping in line with my 2013 experiment of "Pay What You Think The Job Is Worth" comes this great(?) idea of institutionalising fairness in billing practices.

Will Work For Free. Kind Of.

I'm not the sort of person, Dear Reader, that you would probably ever accuse of being 'community spirited' but I have been toying with the notion of offering some form of pro bono investigative services for a while now.

What's the catch, you ask?

Well, here's my half-formed idea...

Courting Corporate Clients: Contracting for Services

You might recall an earlier post asking whether or not any of you other PIs out there worked on a retainer basis with your corporate clients.

I didn't get any response to that post, sadly.

Nevertheless, I soldiered on and worked on a proposal to a law firm to whom I have been providing services to for a number of years (mostly to one lawyer who is a friend, but sometimes to others). They are one of the largest firms in Bad City.

Here was my plan...

Discretion Assured!

I have commented previously, Dear Reader, on my inherent cynicism for the world of marketing and advertising.

It's just all such utter bullshit, isn't it?

From the perspective of a PI business, I think traditional marketing approaches simply are a waste of time and money.

Time I have. Money, not so much.

A recent comment from a friend reminded me of a laughably naive attempt to generate some business through an advert in the local daily rag's classifieds section some years ago.

Courting Corporate Clients: Monthly Retainers v Hourly Rates

One question I have to put towards you other PIs (although, I guess, it could be asked of any other professional) out there is that concerning retainers. And by that, I'm not talking about the lump-sum paid in advance to cover immediate expenses and the like, but an ongoing arrangement between client and investigator.

How many of you have clients on retainer?

Are retainer-based engagements commonplace in your part of the world?

How much would you pay?

It is often said, usually by me, that I'm full of good ideas.

Sadly, most of those ideas never get off the ground due to my highly developed apathetic nature, but that's just the way things are.

See? That's nihilism in action right there!

Anyway, one of my (many) projects for 2012 is to complete a novel I started working on a while ago - and that made me think that perhaps I could also work on something smaller and of a non-fiction nature.

Perhaps an ebook...

Novel Marketing Strategy for 2012

It's almost another year done and I've been giving next year some thought.

Quite a lot of thought, actually. (This was my thinking for 2011, but I got sidetracked).

In particular, I've been thinking about focussing on particular services towards a single sector: Corporate Investigations.

That's where the money is at. It certainly doesn't seem to be with the usual deadbeat clients I seem to attract, that's for sure.

Now, what's the best way of getting the attention of some of these key decision-makers...?

Full disclosure?

Here's something a little bit different; a question aimed at other private investigators out there.

When you are in a social setting and someone asks what it is you do, do you tell them you are a PI?

Recently, I have had several people comment to me that they would have thought I would not have disclosed my profession given it's secretive nature.

It's not like I'm some Nazi spy though, is it?

They don't advertise for killers in a newspaper

Sushi, that's what my ex-wife called me. 

Cold fish.*

 I don't have an ex-wife, or even a current wife for that matter. But as I like to say (usually at weddings), I'm actually in the marriage business. Well, I'm usually called in more towards the end rather than the beginning but it's the same tired old game...

No resemblance, living or dead

Many of you, no doubt, wonder exactly what a dodgy private investigator looks like.

Some of you seem to, mistakenly, think that they may bear a striking resemblence to myself. (That's nothing but slander, Saul Danson!)

Well, here is a stunning example of a truly dodgy PI. No resemblance whatsoever.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you Christopher Butler (his real name). You can read all about him and his sordid tale in this article by Peter Chooks at Diablo Magazine.

Effective marketing for 2011

Sadly, I very much doubt this was a genuine advert by Bentley, but it should have been. It says it all, and in droves.

And it makes me think about my own marketing plans for the coming year.

Any ideas? (I'm out...)

Marketing woes

It's the eternal question: just how do you effectively market a discreet service? There's no point in being so discreet that potential clients can't find you but then I don't want to be plastered on the side of a bus either.

Recently, another PI firm made the news by being caught out (again) doing something of questionable legality. That's the third time in as many years.

Clearly the bad press the previous two incidents generated didn't put off another corporate client with, no doubt, deep pockets so perhaps it's true that bad press is better than no press.

Is it really the case?

What innovative marketing strategies should I be looking into apart from having my incompetence published for all to see nationwide?