They don't advertise for killers in a newspaper

Sushi, that's what my ex-wife called me. 

Cold fish.*

 I don't have an ex-wife, or even a current wife for that matter. But as I like to say (usually at weddings), I'm actually in the marriage business. Well, I'm usually called in more towards the end rather than the beginning but it's the same tired old game...

Actually, I don't think I've had any domestic cases since Mrs Crusoe, which is just as well since I hate them. And that one didn't end so well either; I spent far too many unpaid hours on the case and generally lost all interest when Mrs Crusoe became too demanding as to how I spent my unpaid time on her case.

Be that as it may, another interesting news story of a marriage going sour has surfaced from Mount Clemens, Michigan, where a group of four have been recently arrested in a bungled 'murder for hire' plot to kill Jessica Sears. Sears' husband, Kevin, was in a relationship with one of the accused.

The tale really is not all that interesting in itself as the plot failed. Twice. But some details are telling.

Well, just the one really - they were going to pay the would-be hitman the princely sum of $1000 to do the deed.

$1000?

What self-respecting hitman would get out of bed for $1000?

Does this modest fee assure you of the contractor's competency? Judging by the results, I'm guessing maybe the pricing was on the mark, for services rendered.

Also, like Mrs Crusoe, the plotters did their own surveillance. Says it all right there.

Fucking amateurs!   

*Actually, sushi (寿司) does not translate as 'cold fish' but, literally, to administer longevity. I guess the lesson is that sushi is good for you... well, I already knew that.