Corporatespeak

I apologise in advance if this seems unrelated to investigations although there is a passing connection in that it relates to a recent purchase I made of another surveillance technical manual via the internet.

This particular post is regarding words and alternate meanings that others outside your organisation may not understand. I, for example, recently was made aware of my lack of knowledge regarding other possible meanings for 'expedited' and 'goodwill'.

Early in June I came across a reference to a particular book that I had not previously heard of and having found a number of copies available for sale through lesbian.com*, eagerly made my purchase. 

(* Not their real name)


So, having completed the purchase online and having paid extra for expedited international shipping (8-16 working days estimated delivery time) I happily commenced waiting with the not unrealistic (I would have thought) expectation to probably receive the said book by the end of the month.

Now, I'd like to point out that I have previously made a number of purchases from lesbian.com and also lesbian.co.uk. I have a preference for the UK site as they seem to either have a better selection of books or they deliver faster. 

Anyway, after a few days I receive an email confirmation that my purchase has been shipped and the estimated delivery date is 12 July. 12 July? That was almost 2 weeks outside the 8-16 working days delivery estimate and hardly what I would term expedited. Perhaps Lesbian and I had different understanding of the word?

Well, I thought rather than make a fuss, I'll just wait and be happy when the book actually arrives, so that's what I did. I waited. And waited.

And waited some more.

So 12 July came and went and still no book so I thought "okay, I'll email them and see what's up". My response was "sometimes deliveries take longer than expected. If your purchase still has not arrived by 29 July please contact us again to reship."

29 July? I seriously don't think that Lesbian have any understanding of the term expedited at all if they think paying an additional 50% surcharge on purchase price guarantees a slower than surface-mail delivery time.

So, quietly grumbling to myself, I wait until the end of the month where I still have not received the book.

After emailing lesbian.com I receive another quick reply that they have shipped my replacement. Hooray. Estimated delivery time? 1 month. 

One month? 

So I email them again enquiring as to whether they will now be refunding the portion of my purchase price as I had originally paid for expedited shipping....? Now I get a reply as follows:

Here's a the breakdown of your refund for this item:

Goodwill Refund: 98.09

We'll apply your refund to the following payment method(s):

Visa Credit Card [ending with XXXX]: 98.09  

Refunds typically complete within 10 business days and appear as a credit on your statement.

At this point I was thinking that Lesbian were a bunch of alright people. Can't get much fairer than that, I thought to myself. I only enquired about having a portion refunded and they've given it all back. And then I saw my credit card transactions where I had been recharged, a slightly lesser amount (probably due to variation in exchange rates), for the reshipped book.

Now don't get me wrong, I don't mind paying for the purchase but I do mind being told I'm being given a goodwill refund and then discover I've been recharged, without notification, for the book.

I seriously think you muppets need to buy a fucking dictionary.