Houses of Horror: A Comedy of Errors

Sometimes we are faced with things we least expect.

Today I had a repossession warrant to effect for a client to uplift a computer system from the debtor's address at 2/120 S********* Street.

A routine matter.

We arrived at the address to find 4 units at that location, A through to D. No problem, I thought. It's not uncommon that people might write 2/120 instead of 120B, right?

As per SOP, I placed a call to Police comms prior to effecting entry to advise them this is what we are about to do. After all, the last thing I need is the Police to turn up after a nosy neighbour rings to tell them of a big scary bald guy walking out with household items.

So, call had been made after no-one responded to our knocking at the door. I spied an open doorway through the garage window and we made our way around the side of the house. It was a relatively modern 2-3 bedroom single storey unit with adjoining garage.

In the garage was an internal door to the house, locked. Luckily I had my trusty lockpicks and while it wasn't as easy as some I've done recently I did manage to get it open after a few attempts. Meanwhile it was swelteringly hot and the sweat was dripping off my head into my eyes.

Opening the door the first thing I was aware of was the smell.

It was rank; something rotten in the state of Denmark alright.

Seriously, looking in through the door I thought I was looking at a crime scene. There was laundry, papers, assorted odds and ends strewn across the floor. The kitchen was covered in dirty plates, as you can see. The pictures really don't do it any justice and are a bit blurred, but you get the general gist...

There was dog food spread throughout the house on the floor. It did not look good.

I called out to announce myself and that I was about to enter the house but there was no reply. I stepped in and thought it may be prudent to walk through the rest of the house first. Just in case.

The bedroom was in a similar state.

And there was a nest of clothes in the hallway.

Okay, ascertaining there were no decomposing bodies anywhere we went back to the business at hand of effecting the repossession warrant. We located a computer but it was not the one on the warrant.

Okay...

And then we glanced at the open mail on the table and it was to someone completely different to our debtor. Addressed to 120B S********* Street.

It was at this point that my colleague blurted out: "We're in the wrong fucking house".

Yes, Dear Reader, we were. There was, in fact, Units 1 and 2, 120 S********* Street right next door, over the fence. Something we had embarrassingly missed on our way in.

I called Police comms and alerted them to our mistake. They seemed to find this oddly hilarious. I stated that we left the house as we found it (not that there was any way I was going to touch anything in that place). Actually, thinking back, it was remarkably free of maggots and flies...

I spoke with the occupant of a neighbouring unit who confirmed that the debtor we were after was not at that address but at the adjacent property, although had left a month or so back.

We explained our little confusion and that we had entered the property mistakenly. The neighbour said that the occupant, a female, was a bit strange and apart from the fact that she had a job was essentially a recluse.

Shockingly, she worked in the food preparation industry.

Anyway, we left a card in case there were any questions and continued with our enquiries at the correct address.